


When A Clock Stops

by imagining_supernatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 17:25:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagining_supernatural/pseuds/imagining_supernatural
Summary: You have to end things with Dean





	When A Clock Stops

          Every time you slept with Dean Winchester, you hated yourself a little more.

          Well, not  _while_  you were sleeping with him. Because when you were both naked, there was no other place on Earth you’d rather be. That man knew his way around a mattress. And the floor. And the table. And the walls, the backseat of his car, the  _front_  seat of his car, the  _hood_  of his car, the shower, the hallway….

          But you were getting off topic.

          You hated yourself because you could never say no to him.

          The wind would blow him through your town as he came from or was headed to a hunt and that deep rumble of his car’s engine always made your heart race when you heard it pull up in front of the diner where you worked. And every single time, just like clockwork, you would end up in his motel room that night. He would fuck you so good you’d be feeling it for days, but he would be gone the next day. Just like clockwork.

          This time, though, there was a little problem with the clock.

          “You’re thinking hard.” Dean startled you. You thought he was still sleeping. After all, it was only seven in the morning and you had fallen asleep just three hours ago. Usually he slept until noon, ate lunch with you, then took off.

          You weren’t prepared to face him.

          So you closed your eyes and buried your face in your hands.

          “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Great. Now he sounded concerned.

          “I’m engaged,” you mumbled, words getting lost in your fingers.

          He propped himself up on his elbow, turning his body to face you. After a minute, you managed to gather the courage to peek through your fingers at him, just to find him watching you with furrowed brows. “Come again?”

          A deep sigh. Hands dropping to your lap. Your surrender. “I’m engaged, Dean. To a great guy and we’re getting married in a month.”

          The hands on the clock stuttered, trying to move onto the next second, but not getting enough momentum. Dean just stared, mouth trying to form words. It was much too long before he could finally say anything. “You’re engaged.”

          “Yup.”

          “And you slept with me.”

          “I know, I know. It’s horrible.  _I’m_  horrible. But I just… you drive me crazy, Dean. You have this pull over me that I can’t help, and I don’t want to. I want you, and that’s the problem. I want you, but I know that I can’t have you, so I think I’m settling. I’m going to marry a man that, yeah, I love him. He’s a great guy. But I… I don’t get excited when I hear his car. I don’t… I don’t feel the same passion that I do when I’m with you. And he… he’s great. Amazing. I should be ecstatic that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But I’m not because I just… I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s not just the sex. It’s when we talk about our lives afterwards. It’s laughing at lunch with you and hearing you talk about Sam and just knowing that you love him so much. I’ve never even met your brother, but I can see that he means the world to you and that just… it’s more than amazing.”

          This is what happened when you didn’t have enough time to prepare. You knew that you had to tell Dean when he woke up, but you thought you would have a few hours left. Instead, he woke up early and you ended up vomiting everything you were thinking in an unglorified waterfall of words.

          “I cheated on my fiancé with the man that I love. Sure, he’s amazing, but you’re  _more_  than amazing. It’s still not fair to him and I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other, but it has to be and I get it. I understand why you can’t stick around. I know that you have a dangerous life and I’m not exactly the best fit to come along and I’m sure that you have dozens of women all over the country like me, and you don’t even feel remotely the same and I shouldn’t even be telling you this right now, but—”

          “Hey there.” So he’d finally managed to overcome his shock, huh? Apparently so, since he was sitting up next to you and brushing your hair out of your face. “You shouldn’t have to settle. You deserve the very best, Y/N. It sounds like you aren’t too sure about this guy—”

          “Dean, I know I’m going to have to settle. I mean, unless you wanna get married, then I don’t have a choice. It’s okay. I’ve resigned myself to that. And my fiancé really is a great guy. I’ll be happy with him. I know I will. Hell, I  _am_  happy with him, it’s just…” A frustrated groan cut off your words.

          “You think you’d be happier with me.” He was dubious. He didn’t believe you. Dean was one of those people who was just so  _pure_  but he didn’t think of himself that way. He let his self-doubt take over.

          “I  _know_  I would be happier with you. Every time something exciting happens to me, I wish I could call you first and tell you about it. Not my fiancé. You. When I’m feeling sad or down, I wish it was your arms around me, not his.”

          “Sweetheart, I—”

          “I’m not telling you this to try and make you stay or whatever. I get it, Dean. I really do. I’m just telling you because… because this has to be the last time we see each other. I  _know_  I can be happy with him, but I can’t  _really_  be happy if you keep showing up. I will  _always_  love you. But I can’t keep doing this.”

          A single tear slid out of your eyes. Those green eyes you loved so much were staring right into yours, trying to process everything. Dean didn’t feel the same level of emotion that you did, but there was still a bright sheen of unshed tears beneath his lashes.

          “So, this is it, then?” His voice was on the verge of breaking.

          “We still have a few hours.”

          He nodded carefully before wrapping his arms around you again and shifting until both of you were once again laying down. You willed your tears to dry. Sure, you could feel the clock slowing down, the seconds drawing out, the battery dying… but you were going to enjoy as much of it as you can before you were watching Dean drive away and the clock

          just

          stops.


End file.
